


Groomzilla

by PurpleMaple



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: But could be read on its own, F/M, Fluff, Humour, Roy just being a dork and trying to make things perfect, Wedding Planning, and everyone not knowing what to do with him, my attempt at making this funny, sequel to The King and his Queen, the royai wedding we never got
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-08 10:23:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16427522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurpleMaple/pseuds/PurpleMaple
Summary: Roy and Riza have been engaged for a year and the big day is right around the corner. There is also a new term floating around to refer to Roy Mustang as. Will the pressure of wedding planning get to him? Or will it all fall into place as it should?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to my previous work The King and his Queen, though you don't have to read it to fully understand the story. Hope this is in the realm of in character. Enjoy!!

bride·zil·la  
/ˌbrīdˈzilə/  
noun  
humorous  
noun: bridezilla; plural noun: bridezillas  
a woman whose behaviour in planning her wedding is regarded as obsessive or intolerably demanding.

-/-/-

"Hey relax. It's just a simple hem, nothing to worry about."

"It starts out as a simple hem, next thing we know it's too short, and we'll have to order more material. Then we'll have to take money out of the flowers or food budget to accommodate the price or we..."

"Okay Boss, you need to settle down. You've been planning this wedding for almost a year now. Everything is going to be fine." Jean Havoc sighed from beside the raised podium that Roy Mustang stood upon in the tailor shop.

"I just want it to be perfect for her." Roy spoke quietly as he adjusted his collar.

"Wow, you've really gone soft. I'm going to step out for a smoke, try not to have an aneurysm while I'm gone."

Roy shot a glare at his friend's back as he walked out the door. Roy took a deep breath, held it, then let it go. He went over some Alchemy formulas in his head, trying to please all the raging thoughts in his mind. A gentle hand on his arm brought him out of his trance. He turned to see who it was and gave a small smile.

"How is everything going next door, Gracia?"

"Just fine Roy. As far as I know, the fittings are perfect for the bridesmaid's dresses and Riza's as well, though the maid of honour has been voicing her opinions pretty strongly.”

Roy merely shook his head.

"That Catalina is something else. Did Riza threaten to shoot her?"

"Only a couple of times. Oh before I forget, do you have your Alchemy gloves on you?"

Roy raised a dark eyebrow as he fished around in his pocket for his gloves.

"You're in for a real shocker when she walks down that aisle next week." Gracia commented, completely changing the subject.

"I have no doubt about that. Now, why do you need to see my gloves?" Roy questioned as he held his gloves out.

"Riza said no gloves while finishing the plans for the wedding." Gracia spoke as she snatched the gloves from Roy's grasp and placed them in her purse.

"But I need those." Roy tried to swipe at her purse but Gracia stepped away before he could do so.

"Roy, ever since you and Riza started planning this wedding, you've been a little bit... impulsive."

"Impulsive? Come on Gracia, I'm not being impulsive. I'm just... assertive." Roy spoke as he got off the podium and walked over to the change rooms.

"Roy you nearly set a man's pants on fire because he brought in the wrong table fabric."

Roy stuck his head out of the curtain as he spoke.

"I asked for Notorious Royal Blue. What did he bring in? Placid Blue Sky. Clearly not the same thing."

"Clearly." Gracia just rolled her eyes.

After Roy changed and re-emerged from the change room, his suit in hand, he walked out of the store with Gracia and met Riza, Havoc, and the rest of Riza's bridesmaids out front of the bridal shop.

"Ready to head back to work?" Riza questioned.

"As ready as I'll ever be." Roy shrugged nonchalantly as he stepped into the Fuhrer's car with Riza. He spotted Gracia handing his gloves over to Riza and she slipped them into her purse.

They drove back to Central Command in compatible silence, enjoying the moment of peace in their hectic lives.

"How did the suit fit?”

"Just fine." Roy crossed his arms as he continued to stare out the window. Riza, noticing the slight pout in his facial features, raised an eyebrow.

"You seem upset about something."

"I don't have any clue where you got that idea from. I'm simply tired."

Roy could sense Riza's eyebrow rise even more. He continued to stare out the window, trying not to let his Fiancée's look get him to crack.

"If you say so."

Roy threw a cautionary glance over his shoulder. Riza had returned to watching the outside, seemingly unfazed by Roy being tight-lipped. The silence was getting to him though and he didn't know why but, he cracked.

"Okay, okay you win! I'm just upset over the fact that you had my gloves confiscated like I'm some rotten three year old."

Riza just smiled.

"It's only a precaution as we are finalizing the wedding plans. You will get your gloves back after next week."

Riza had to hide a smile as she heard Roy mutter under his breath.

The car pulled up to Central Command and an entourage of soldiers immediately surrounded the car before Roy and Riza were escorted into the building. Havoc took Roy's suit back to his house and would bring Hayate with him before meeting back up at their office. Riza left Roy's side when they entered the building to go and retrieve the day's paperwork and some much-needed coffee. Roy proceeded to his office that he shared with his subordinates.

"So you finally made it back! How'd the monkey suit fit?" Breda chuckled from his desk.

Roy gave him a glare as he walked past.

"The adjustments they made were fine. I'm just glad your suits didn't need the extra adjustments as mine did. It would have set us back on our budget." Roy mumbled the last part under his breath as he anxiously ran his hands through his raven hair.

"I don't mean to be intrusive sir, but even if we did need to get our suits hemmed, with the size of your budget we wouldn't.. even... make.." Fuery slowly trailed off and shirked back behind his radio as the Fuhrer's piercing gaze settled on him.

"I'm just saying I would rather spend the money elsewhere than on adjusting your suits. Like the venue, or the catering or on the special details. Speaking of which, I better call the caterers and make sure they have enough food prepared." Roy spoke as he strode into his personal office and shut the door behind himself. Not long after Havoc, Riza, and Hayate entered the office.

"Hey Hawkeye, how do you put up with him?" Breda questioned while gesturing to Roy's closed door with his head. You could clearly hear him arguing with whoever was on the phone. Riza merely pursed her lips and shook her head as she headed for his door, paperwork, and coffee in hand.

"Years of practice and plenty of patience is the only answer I can give." She spoke as she opened the door and entered, Hayate on her heels.

When the door closed, the three remaining men glanced at each other.

"Isn't it typical for the bride to be worried over things like this?" Breda questioned.

"Remember, he was raised by his aunt and foster sisters. I bet something rubbed off on him to make him act this way." Havoc spoke as he took his seat at his desk.

"You know, with how worried he is over all of these wedding things... there is a word I heard to describe brides that are obsessed with the wedding details like the Boss has been." Havoc spoke, as he rubbed his chin.

"Oh, I know what you're talking about! You mean he's a Bride.." Before Fuery could finish his sentence Breda covered his mouth with his hand.

"I know exactly what you're about to say. And we all know what he's like when we say the 'U' word. Imagine what he would be like if he was called that word."

All three men suppressed a shiver before returning to work. After a few moments of silence, Havoc spoke up.

"I know this seems random, but what do we call Hawkeye after she gets married?"

-/-/-

At the Fuhrer's Mansion- Roy scribbled away at his desk in his library, trying anxiously to get through his large stack of paperwork he brought home from work. Hayate was curled up at his feet, being silent company. Roy's hand had started to cramp up, the pile didn't look that daunting until he actually started it.

"You know you wouldn't have so much paperwork if you focused on doing that at work instead of focusing on the wedding. You know I would be okay with something simple." Riza spoke as she entered the library, a cup of tea in her hands.

"I know. It's just that you deserve it after all the Hell you've been through. I just want everything to be perfect and not have anyone be shot, burned, or receive any other type of injury. Speaking of which, I should call Captain Matthews and make sure his security team is ready." Roy spoke while he eyed the phone at the corner of his desk.

"Roy you need to relax and besides, shouldn't all of this be the bride's job?"

"I didn't think you would be one to use stereotypes Riza. And besides, you know I like to be involved in the planning of things." Roy continued to sign the papers.

"I didn't think planning a coup d'état and planning a wedding were so similar." Riza spoke with a chuckle in her tone as she sipped her tea.

"You have no idea.”

Riza just rolled her eyes.

"I'm going up to bed, finish your work then come straight upstairs. Starting tomorrow, I'm taking full control over the final details okay? You need to focus on your work."

Riza ran her fingers through his dark hair, causing Roy to lean lovingly into her touch. He was a dog of the military in more ways than one.

"Okay, I'll focus on my work."

"I mean it, Roy. Don't let the alchemist in you keep you up all night working on this. Leave some of it for tomorrow if you have to."

Roy finally looked up from the work in front of him and met Riza's worried expression.

"Wow, now I know you're concerned if you'll allow me to leave work to the last minute."

"Just please get to bed at a decent time. I don't want to have to banish you to the couch again."

Roy immediately paled. He always slept better when they shared a bed.

"You're bluffing. You never went through with it when you found out about the Miniskirt clause. And I'm sure you won't go through with it now. You and I both know that we sleep better when we are together."

"Well if you finish your work fast enough, then you have nothing to worry about. Goodnight." Riza spoke as she kissed Roy's temple and left the room, teacup still in hand.

Roy sat there shocked before turning his attention under the desk.

"You don't think she's serious do you Hayate?"

The Shiba Inu merely lifted his head, staring directly into Roy's eyes before getting up, stretching, and following the receding steps of Riza out of the room. Roy immediately continued his work, fully intending on sleeping in a proper bed with Riza but visions of wedding details began swimming through his head and for some reason, he just couldn't turn his brain off, the perfectionist in him just wouldn't allow it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because this site hates me, anything that normally would be italicized has '..' instead. Hope you all enjoy everyone just being silly!!

"Sir, I would appreciate it if you wouldn't breathe down my neck like this. It's quite distracting." Riza spoke from her desk in Roy's office. Roy was currently leaning over her shoulder trying to see how she was doing with the plans for the reception in 4 days.

"I'm simply observing what you are doing. It's not like you haven't done the exact same thing since you started under my command." Roy mumbled the last part under his breath. Unfortunately for him, it didn't go unheard by Riza.

"Stop being so childish, just because I'm finishing the plans and you're left to deal with the work you're supposed to be doing. Speaking of which, aren't there still some forms regarding trades with Creta that you could be doing rather than focus on me picking place cards and whether the Armstrong's should all be at one table for the reception."

Riza smiled inwardly as Roy begrudgingly straightened up and stomped back over to his desk. He began to start on his paperwork, a deep scowl etching his features. A little while later, an unexpected guest burst through the door.

"I'm surprised you two are working. I would have thought you would be finishing up the plans for the big day." Grumman spoke as he strode into the room.

"I'm suspended from even seeing the plans for the wedding. Apparently, I've been impulsive in regards to the plans." Roy’s scowl grew deeper.

"Don't forget you also scared away some florists and chefs because you freaked out over their selections.”

Roy threw his arms up in the air in a huff, before pointing a finger at the other occupants in the room. 

"Okay first off, the florists were completely screwing up the flower arrangements I asked for, secondly the chefs were going to offer Ginger Glazed Breast of Chicken instead of the Beef Bourguignon that I like. That was not what I was going to pay for, so I politely excused them from the premises."

"I wouldn't categorize it as being polite. More like forceful."

"Hey come on you two, don't fight. That's not supposed to happen until well past the honeymoon."

"He's just being a perfectionist. He'll get over it."

"I think there's a better word to describe him, dear," Grumman whispered into Riza's ear, eliciting a small chuckle from her and a frown from Roy since he couldn't hear the exchange.

"I don't know what you said, but I don't like it." Roy's frown deepened when Riza and her grandfather exchanged a glance laced with humour.

Just as Riza was about to try and console her fiancé, someone knocked on the door.

"Sorry to interrupt, but Captain, the photographer is here to see you regarding the locations for the wedding shots after the ceremony," Fuery spoke from the door.

"Thank you Warrant Officer, I'll be out there in a moment," Riza responded with a small smile. Fuery bowed slightly before closing the door behind him.

"I better go deal with this. Keep working on your papers, sir." Riza made sure she maintained eye contact with Roy before leaving the room.

"I was hoping we could have a chess game but I see you have quite a bit of work to catch up on my boy. Give me a call when you have some free time."

And just like that, Roy was left alone in his office with his pile of paperwork. Roy huffed as he slouched in his chair. As he was about to reach for his pen, something caught his eye. He threw a cautionary glance at the door before picking up the item.

-/-/-

Riza was busy discussing the location of where she wanted the photos to be taken and the cost of his services when Havoc interrupted them.

"Hey, Hawkeye. You suspended the Boss from planning the wedding stuff right?"

"Yes." Why did she have a bad feeling of what Havoc was going to say.

"And you said that if he got involved he was banned to the couch."

"What are you getting at First Lieutenant?”

"I just walked past the door and I could have sworn I heard him discussing stuff that sounded an awful lot like wedding details."

Riza pursed her lips and took a deep breath before turning her attention to Fuery. Her voice extremely calm.

"Warrant Officer would you tap the Fuhrer's telephone line please."

"Sure thing Captain."

Fuery began to tap the Fuhrer's line through one of the phones in the outer office. Riza stood by his desk, her arms crossed and her eyes closed. Breda and Havoc gave each other worried looks before discreetly passing betting money to each other. The photographer stood slightly to the side, not sure exactly what he was supposed to be doing.

"All clear," Fuery whispered as he held up the phone to Hawkeye. She took the phone in her grasp and placed it up to her ear. She could hear Roy's quiet tone through the phone.

"...so after the ceremony, the reception will be held in Central City's Grand Hotel in the first ballroom.”

"Yes your Fiancée established that, and the Carnations will be situated..”

"Carnations?! I specifically asked for Tulips for both the ceremony and the reception. Change that at once. And they better be red. Also, add lavender roses to the arrangements."

Riza didn't even bother to wait for whoever Roy was on the phone to respond as she slammed the phone down on the carrier and marched into his office. 

"You IDIOT!" She shouted at him from across the office. Roy immediately slammed the phone down into its cradle, not even bothering to speak another word to the person on the other end. He had a bigger problem to deal with.

"Hey, Ri." Roy could hear his own voice shake as he spoke.

"Don't you 'Hey Ri' me. I specifically told you that you weren't allowed to partake in any wedding preparations! But did you listen to me? Of course not! You are so obsessed with every single detail that you have even gone behind my back! What do you have to say for yourself?!"

"Sorry Riza, I just want everything to be perfect on our special day."

Riza took a deep breath before exhaling and walking over to her desk, her hands clenched at her sides.

"I'm going out with Rebecca, I better not see you at home until all of your paperwork is done."

Roy just sat there as he watched Riza's tense back leave his office. Riza was so filled with rage that she didn't fully register the outer room's occupants as they scurried out of her path.

"First Lieutenant Havoc, make sure he finishes his work. I'll personally pay you overtime if need be. And make sure he stays away from the phone."

And with that, Riza marched out of the office. Leaving three nervous subordinates, a guilty Fuhrer, and a confused photographer in her wake.

"Hear that Mustang looks like I'm in charge now so.. HEY! Put that phone down!" Havoc shouted at Roy, who quickly threw the phone down, completely missing the cradle.

"This is going to be harder than I thought." Havoc mumbled to himself, "Hey Captain, he's doing it again!" Havoc shouted after Riza.

"Shut up Havoc!"

-/-/-

"He's that bad huh? Roy-boy gets that from his father for sure." Madame Christmas spoke across the bar to a stressed out Riza and an amused Rebecca.

"I just can't get over the fact that you're actually going through banning him to the couch! You have him wrapped around your little finger!" Rebecca spoke with a laugh.

"He went behind my back. I'm doing this for his own good."

"You know he is going to try to pull every charm he has in his arsenal tonight."

"Yes, I'm aware of that Rebecca."

"It's a good thing you've developed an invincibility of sorts to his charm then," Christmas spoke as she cleaned a glass with a towel.

"I just can't wait for this all to be over. That way we can go back to the way things were before." Riza spoke as she leaned forward slightly on the counter.

"I hate to break the news to you Riza, but your life hasn't exactly been normal." Riza just rolled her eyes at Rebecca’s comment as she took a sip of water.

"You know he has developed a new little quirk."

Rebecca and Christmas raised an eyebrow at the random comment.

"He can get quirkier?" Rebecca asked astonished. "I thought the quirkiness stopped at the Miniskirt clause."

"When he is stressed he massages his palms, the right in particular.It's most likely due to the multiple scarring on that hand.. I only saw him do it on occasion before, but now he does it almost constantly. Especially within the last month.”

"Want me to have a talk with him? I could straighten him up a bit." Christmas spoke as she lit a cigarette and took a drag.

"I have no doubt about that, but I can handle him. Hopefully, he won't be too stubborn."

"Trust me Riza, once Roy knows how worried you are, I'm sure he'll snap out of it. If you haven't noticed, he will always put you first and it tears him apart if something is wrong with you. He'll back down."

"Thanks, Rebecca, I guess that's what I needed to hear."

"As I said before, he certainly is a lot like his father. I remember how stressed he was over every little detail and making it perfect for Roy's mother. I actually had to knock him out the night before the wedding so he would actually get a decent amount of sleep." Christmas took a long drag from her smoke before giving the women in front of her, her full attention. "I can do the same thing to Roy if you want."

"I'll take that into consideration," Riza spoke as the clock across the bar chimed.

"We better go, Rebecca, we still have quite a lot to do, thank you for the drinks, Madame," Riza spoke as she got up from her bar stool.

"Anytime but before you go, could you please come here for a moment Elizabeth."

Riza raised an eyebrow as she approached the Madame who had walked around the counter to stand in front of her. Christmas then took her hand and placed it on Riza’s shoulder.

"Just remember that he is acting this way because he loves you. He's just making up for lost time." The corner of Christmas' lip quirked into the Mustang smirk as she squeezed her hand. Riza returned the smile before heading out the door after Rebecca.

-/-/-

Riza groaned when she heard the bedroom door creak open and buried her face into her pillow, she was tired from running around with Rebecca finishing errands for the wedding after talking with Madame Christmas and she didn't want to put up with this at 2:00 in the morning.

"Roy get back to the couch." Now that sounded familiar.

"Unfortunately I planned on it, just came to get your pillow," Roy spoke as he grabbed the corner of the pillow in which Riza's head resided on.

"My pillow? Why do you need my pillow?" Riza asked as she felt her upper body be raised slightly off the bed.

"Because if I can't share a bed with you, the least you could do is provide me with something that smells like you. I love the way you smell." Roy responded.

Riza finally opened her eyes and raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

"You know I usually sleep nuzzled in your hair and I can't do that now since I really messed up. At least take some pity on me and give me your pillow." Roy responded.

"I don't know, you didn't listen to me so you have to pay the price." Luckily the dark gloom of the room hid Roy's devious smirk. Before Riza knew it, her pillow was deftly swiped from under her head.

"ROY!" But before Riza could reprimand him, she felt her pillow get placed over the back of her head and a mass drape itself over her body. It was a Roy sandwich.

"This is way better than the couch." Riza could hear Roy's voice through the fabric as she felt him nuzzle into the pillow on her head, his arms wrapped around her waist.

"I'm going to give you to the count of three Roy," Riza spoke venomously.

When Roy didn't move and she felt his body relax she started to countdown.

"Three... two... one... Hayate!"

Before Roy knew it Hayate, who was previously fast asleep at the bottom of the bed, barrelled right into Roy's side, the force shoving Roy off of Riza and onto the floor. Unfortunately, with Roy's arms still wrapped around her, Riza fell down in tandem, landing directly on top of Roy and dazing them both.

"After all of that, do I still have to sleep on the couch?" Roy spoke after a couple minutes of silence. He waited for an answer but one never came.

"Riza?" Roy gently brushed her fringe away from her face, realizing that she had fallen asleep.

'She is so exhausted and it's all my fault.' Roy carefully stood up and lifted Riza back onto the bed. He returned her pillow and covered her with blankets once again. He took a moment to study her features before bending to kiss her on the cheek, grabbing his own pillow and walking out of the room in search of his new arch enemy, the dreaded couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed and let me know what you think! Don't worry, Riza was only doing this for Roy's own good. She'll loosen up before the wedding. You can also find me on tumblr @purplemaple-xoxo come say hi!

**Author's Note:**

> I just love the idea of Roy being dramatic and wanting things to be perfect for Riza. Hope you enjoyed! See you soon!


End file.
